Turn on the lights

How your words appear is more than a design issue.

Short words, sentences and paragraphs are inviting.

Our eyes are attracted to light.

White space in print or on your phone gives light.

White space gives you a psychological advantage, too.

Have you ever looked at dense text? Text like this:

Long, multi-syllable words, archaic and technical terms in long sentences with several dependent clauses and lots of commas and semi-colons and a single period in lengthy paragraphs with no life-saving breaks looks, feels and smells like something someone dragged up out of a sewer and you sniff it and “Ugh!” you say to the sewer dragger about the mess he has laid at your feet, “What in heaven’s name is this you are presenting me, and he says, “Well, it is the best I could do with the remains of Count Dracula; Isn’t that what you wanted?”

You get the idea.

Choose short and simple words,

Put them in short sentences.

Break sentences into short paragraphs.

English is a robust language.

It is easier reading when you give it white space.

White space like this.

Do you think I’m nuts to offer such ideas?

Have your own take on white space?

On simpler uses of a robust language?

Want to defend sewer dragging?

Or arcane abuses of language?

Email me. Please.

JerryBellune@yahoo.com

I’d love to hear from you.

Is ‘good enough’ good enough?

Do you think great writers dash out perfect first drafts?
Do you imagine they sit down and write a chapter a day?
That in only 4 or 5 weeks they have a book ready to go?
Then they toddle off to the south of France on royalties?
Watch bullfights in Spain? Climb the Himalayas?
What an amazing life that must be.
The great French crime novelist Georges Simenon did it.
He claimed he wrote novels in a fury in days, hardly sleeping.
He puffed black tobacco Gaulioses while he did it. 
His family demanded he have a checkup before starting one.
They feared he might keel over with a heart attack.

Frankly, I think his agent or publisher dreamed this up.
It made their best selling author seem larger than life.
Yes, myths help sell books.
We are all mortal – editors, reporters and novelists.
James Thurber admitted his first drafts were crap.
He had to rewrite them to get to a readable story.

Anne Lamott agrees from painful experience.
She struggled with a novel for more than two years.
She submitted it to her editor as her advance ran out.
She hoped to get the rest of her advance money.
Instead her editor suggested more rewrites.

You can read what she did in her book Bird by Bird.

The point is simply this:
First drafts of news or feature stories will be crappy.
Accept it. Live with it. But get it written.
Then, if you have time, leave it alone. Rewrite it later.
If it’s breaking news, do the best you can.
Nothing is ever perfect. Nothing ever will be.
Don’t let the need for perfection ruin your life.
Some times ‘good enough’ has to be good enough.

Did you find this helpful?
Do you have your own anguished first draft story. 
Email me st JerryBellune@yahoo.com
I’d love to read it and share it.

Magical stories

Good morning, fellow toiler in the writing vineyard,
We want to talk today about magic in reporting and writing.
Do you remember the old Polaroid cameras?
How magical it was to watch the images emerge?
You may be old enough to recall photo darkrooms.
The thrill of images emerging in the developing tray.
That’s the way some stories happen. They emerge.

I recall covering a worship service at a small rural church.
The congregation was celebrating a victory over evil.
Vandals had wreaked havoc on their sanctuary,
With unpaid volunteers, they repaired the damage.

On the 30-minute drive, I imagined what the story might be.
I started writing it in my head. But that wasn’t the story.
From my vantage in a pew, the real story began to emerge.
I could see where it really began and where it really ended.
The story I had written mentally landed in the middle.

Anne Lamott had a similar experience.
She wrote about it in Bird by Bird, a book you should read.
At the Special Olympics, she met a self-described “cool man.”
He had Down’s syndrome yet starred in the basketball game.
She saw a girl on crutches inching toward the finish line.
Her story began to emerge but not about disability’s tragedy.
It emerged as a story about the joy of participation.

My point is this: It’s OK to think about what a story may be.
But be open to the experience. Let the real story emerge.
It will be magical. It will almost write itself.

Have you experienced such magic in reporting and writing?
What are your own thoughts about this?
Please write to me at JerryBellune@yahoo.com
I would love to share your experience with others.

A plodder or a sprinter?

Good morning, fellow toiler in the writing vineyard,

We want to talk about speed vs. craft today.
Bill Fox would never brag about it but he was a sprinter.
Bill taught writing at Carolina and wrote stories and books.
You may recall Southern Fried and The Wild Blue Yonder,
Bill inspired many young writers.

He used to visit my Midlands Tech writing classes,
His formula began with turning your monitor to black.
You could not see what you were writing.
Just write the story that’s in your head in one sitting.
Then save it and walk away. Let it marinate.
Come back later when you can be analytical. 
Correct your typos. Kill your darlings.
Read it aloud. Rewrite it, Make your sentences sing. 

The first sprinter I worked with was our city editor.
He called me at the office at 12:30 one morning.
A cargo plane had crashed at the Air Force base.
Jim dictated a perfect 10-sentence story.
His story made the late city edition.
One day I will be able to do what he did, I hoped.
I learned to sprint. To dictate from the scene.

Bll Zinsser admitted he was a plodder.
His On Writing Well is one of our craft’s best books.
As I grow older, I have become a plodder, too.
I have to write the story in my head.
Decide where it begins and where it ends.
Write a sentence. Read it aloud.
Move the words around. Polish them. 
Read it aloud again. Then move on to the next sentence.

It does not matter if you are a sprinter or a plodder.
You will face times when you need to sprint.
Breaking news demands it. Learn to do it.
With the luxury of time, you can plod along.
Write. Rewrite. Polish. Make every word count.
Either way is right, depending on the time you have,

Are you a sprinter or a plodder?
What are your own thoughts about this?
Please write to me at JerryBellune@yahoo.com

PS. I was plodding along on Compelling Writing Volume 1
It took more time than I suspected.
It will be available soon.

Hemingway’s 5 Writing Tips

After high school in 1917, Ernest Hemingway tried to join the army.
He was only 17. The army turned him down.
Through an uncle, he landed a job at the Kansas City Star.
Cub reporters were given a style sheet demanding:
Short sentences.
Short paragraphs.
Vigorous English.
Positive, not negative writing.
Eliminate all superfluous words.

Hemingway observed these rules in his novels.
His reporting shows an ability to convey scenes with sparse details.

“At the End of the Ambulance Run” begins:
The night ambulance attendants shuffled down the long, dark corridors at the General Hospital with an inert burden on the stretcher. They turned in at the receiving ward and lifted the unconscious man to the operating table. His hands were calloused. He was unkempt and ragged, a victim of a street brawl.No one knew who he was. A receipt bearing the name of George Anderson for $10 paid on a home out in a little Nebraska town served to identify him.
The surgeon opened the swollen eyelids. The eyes were turned to the left.
“A fracture on the left side of the skull,” he said to the attendants.
“Well, George, you’re not going to finish paying for that home of yours.”

Hemingway was famous for his terse, minimalist style.
He used few adjectives and got straight to the point.

He once told a story in only 6 words:
“For sale: baby shoes, never worn.”

Why would you want to write like this? For starters, readers like it. Writing like this gets to the point. It respects readers’ time and busy lives.

Try it. You may like it.

To get more tips like this, email jerrybellune@yahoo.com about his upcoming book, Compelling Writing and to be added to his writing mailing list.

You can see past writing tips by clicking here.

Your Golden Hour of Discovery

Good writing requires good reading. 
Good writers read good writers. 
Think about what they did. 
How did they get their effects? 
What did they do to move you? 
Read them aloud. 
Listen to the pace and rhythm of their words.

Our colleague Roger Beirne used to retype poetry.
Robert Frost, William Butler Yeats and other poets he admired. 
“I want to feel how their words work,” he said.
Roger developed a lyrical style in his feature writing. 

Read good journalists.
The internet is a boon to all of us. 
We can access almost any newspaper or magazine in the world.
Concentrate on those that encourage good writing. 

Read magazines in print or on the internet.
Look for strong journalism, detailed reporting and vivid writing.

Read the novels of great writers. 
In translation, great writers in other languages teach style.    

Read the Bible. Most of the great writers of literature did.
Ernest Hemingway took book titles from Bible passages.
I prefer the original King James version.
The king’s translators had archaic but poetic styles. 
Choose the version you like from many translations. 
All have much to teach us about language.
Joan Beck of the Chicago Tribune says she reads the Bible every day.
“Those cadences get imprinted in your brain,” she said. 
“You tend to write in those kinds of patterns and rhythms.”

Read at least an hour a day. 
Not just duty reading. 
Devour your own and others’ newspapers and magazines.
Rise early and read for an hour while the rest of your household sleeps. 
Make them Golden Hours of Discovery. 
Note in the backs of your books the passages you may revisit.

Here is my suggested reading list:
Journalists: Joan Didion, James Agee, Hannah Arendt, Ernie Pyle, Russell Baker, Meyer Berger, Bob Greene, Jimmy Breslin, David Halberstam, Art Buchwald and John McPhee.

Masters of American literature and poetry: Mark Twain, Herman Melville, Annie Dillard, Robert Frost. Emily Dickinson, Carl Sandburg, John Steinbeck and Ernest Hemingway. 

Modern fiction: Robert B. Parker’s Spencer novels for crisp dialogue, Stuart Woods for his fast-paced plots, and James Lee Burke for his imagery.

Specific Selections:
The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane. 
The Right Stuff by Tom Wolfe
Growing Up by Russell Baker.
In Cold Blood by Truman Capote. 
Only in America by Harry Golden.
On the Road by Charles Kuralt (his TV scripts). 
Slouching Toward Bethlehem by Joan Didion.
Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil by John Berendt.

Did you enjoy learning from this?
There’s much more in Compelling Writing.
E-copies are available for $10.
Just email jerrybellune@yahoo.com

You are what you read

My wife and I used to pore over out-of-town newspapers.

We went over them like scholars with the Dead Sea Scrolls.

We would compare how other:

1. Reporters handled the same story.

2. Editors played those stories. 

We learned a lot from the way they:

1. Edited the stories.

2. Wrote headlines to capture their readers’ attention.
Those were pre-internet days. It is much simpler for any of us to do it now. Just go online and see what the competition is up to. You’ll learn a great deal.

Here is how three reporters handled one story.

It was on the latest female sexual dysfunction version of Viagra.
• CNN, the cable news network, took a traditional approach:
A drug aimed at helping women who’ve lost their sex drive cleared a key hurdle Thursday, winning backing from a Food and Drug Administration panel. (25 words)
• The Los Angeles Times started more conversationally:
This doesn’t sound sexy but trust me it is. (9 words)
• The Wall Street Journal posed a question:
Will there finally be a Viagra for women? (8 words)
Consider these three approaches.

How might you have handled the same news?

What can you learn from the three reporters’ versions?
One of my competitors was a former short-order cook. He told me he taught himself by rewriting newspaper stories.

He was a highly-motivated competitor.

He didn’t want to spend his life in front of a hot grill. His example inspired me. I tried what he had done.

It made me a better reporter and writer.

Next: The Golden Hour of Discovery.
Did you enjoy learning from this?

There’s much more in Compelling Writing.

E-copies are available for $10. Just email jerrybellune@yahoo.com.

Pump up your prose

Are you old enough to remember Charles Atlas?
It was probably not the name his family gave him but an apt pseudonym for a man who marketed a muscle-building program he called “Dynamic Tension.”
Without weights or other traditional gym equipment, he turned his 90-pound weakling body into a model of muscular magnificence.
I tell you this story as a metaphor for what you might do with the words you choose, those you discard and the results you get.
With this small volume, you will be encouraged to be ruthless with your prose.
Here are several examples of how a few simple, muscular words can touch emotions and reveal visions far better than long passages, no matter how eloquent.
Martin Luther King, Jr., with a lifetime in the pulpit, used 4 words powerfully again and again during his speech at the Lincoln Memorial. As former Times of London editor Harold Evans wrote in Do I Make Myself Clear, Rev. King invoked the cadences of the Old and New Testaments, “I have a dream.”
Abraham Lincoln stirred listeners at the Gettysburg battlegrounds with words today’s Washington bureaucrats seem to have forgotten, “Government of the people, by the people, for the people.”
While waiting for the isolationist United States to join World War II, British Prime Minister Winston Churchill promised America and his own people, “We shall not fail or falter. We shall not weaken or tire.” Then he finished a broadcast heard on both sides of the Atlantic and on Nazi radios, too, with 10 taut words of appeal to America: ”Give us the tools and we will finish the job.”
This is not literary elegance. It is workmanlike. No tears/ No whining.
Not a single wasted word, Evans writes.
Can we pare down our words? You bet. Make your surviving words stronger by paring away weaker ones surrounding them.
Here is an example from a 31-word news story lead, written and edited by professionals at the Washington Post. They should have been mindful of the simple power of words from King, Lincoln and Churchill.
Newly released data from the Drug Enforcement Administration shows a trend in pill distribution that, according to plaintiffs suing the drug industry, can’t be passed off as reasonable therapeutic medical treatment.
Still puzzling that one out? Me, too.
Here is what I suspect they meant to convey to their readers:
Physician pill-pushing can’t be passed off as reasonable pain relief.
That’s what Drug Enforcement Administration data shows and lawsuits against the drug industry claim.
2 paragraphs, 25 simple words, 5 beginning with the letter “p.”
The longest one, “Administration,” has 5 syllables and 14 letters. It was unavoidable in this case as it is in the proper name of the data’s source.
Look at your words. How many can you cut to strengthen the survivors?

10.5 internet posting tips

Getting started in journalism is tough.
You don’t know what you need to know.
Find good mentors and listen to them.
I did and they taught by example and advice.
Now I try to do follow their example.

Some rules have changed, thanks to technology.
Here are 10.5 tips we gave our newspaper intern,
They are for posting on our site and social media.

1. Check news sites Monday – Friday, These include: 
– Print and online newspapers and news services.
– TV and/or local news radio station sites. 
– Your own inbox for news releases 

2. Stories we need to post should have:
– Local people or angles involved.
–  Be of high interest to our readers.

3. Always attribute where the news came from.
-“according to ___”
–  “___ reported.”

4. Write headlines with the names of towns involved:
– “Gaston wife kills unfaithful husband”
– “County team wins Super Bowl”

5. Remember WIIFM (what’s in it for me). 
Always think about what readers need or want:
– To know that will affect their lives.
– That involves local people they may know.

6. Keep sentences short – 15 words on average. 

7. Use active verbs. Forms of “to be” are static.

8. Use simple 1-, 2- and 3-syllable words. 

9. Translate police and governmental jargon.
Use language the rest of us understand. 

10. Keep postings to no more than 150-160 words.
Our audience is made up of busy people.

10.5. Ask if we need a longer story for print.

And when in doubt, ask us for help.

For my Little Red Book of Compelling Writing;
– email JerryBellune@gmail.com.

Make them see, hear, smell and feel

You may find this hard to believe.
Our outdoor writer Cole Stilwell is 16 and a high school student.
I wish I could have written at 16 as well as he does.

Cole’s hiking buddy is his grandfather, Chuck McCurry.
Chuck wrote our popular Church Buzz column.
Writing well must be in their genes.

All of us are pleased by Cole’s progress.
He started with us as an internet intern.
He still posts news on our website and social media.

Recently, Cole wrote about 2 park rangers in nearby Aiken.
Here are 3 suggestions we shared with him that may help you, too.

1. Always get their life stories. 
People like to tell their stories.
Readers like to read them.
Unfortunately, too often no one listens to them.
They are pleased if you take an interest in them.

Our readers would have liked to know, for example:
– How the park rangers picked their careers.
– What it took them to get there.
– What they love about their chosen work.

2. Use the Big Eye, Big Ear approach to reporting. 
Give readers details so they see and hear what you saw and heard.

For example, they would like to have known what it:
– looked like, 
– sounded like, 
– smelled like, 
– even felt like
kayaking down a blackwater river such as the Edisto.

3. Make them see. 
Our journalism colleague Gene Roberts, a Pulitzer Prize winner at the NY Times and Philadelphia Inquirer, started his career working for a blind North Carolina publisher. 
The publisher’s wife read him the stories for each week’s edition.

Gene’s publisher insisted that he “make me see what you saw.”
He even had Gene write “This Week’s Prettiest Sight.”
Gene hated doing it. The guys at the pool hall kidded him about it.
But he learned a valuable lesson in observation and writing.

I hope this helps you as well as Cole. 
Keep watching, listening, feeling – and writing.

PS, Let me recommend Annie Dillard’s “The Writing Life.”
It will inspire you as it has done me.
For an exciting chapter from her book, visit
https://www.brainpickings.org/2013/06/24/annie-dillard-dave-rahm/ .